Also, one thing that I have been mulling over from your response is how can we guarantee that any changes we do make will not hurt our significant other? I think that is a big shoe to fill because how can we know the future? We can’t and we cannot predict who we or our partner will be.
You are right that nobody can guarantee changes they deem necessary for themselves will not predispose significant others towards exiting a marriage.
So long as people are willing to negotiate changes with their significant others, however, there always is a chance marriage will last forever.
The problem is spouses are doing less and less of negotiation around changes. So long as each spouse has their own money and assets, however, alongside common money and assets, negotiation around changes ought to be easier since no one can be left holding the bag if the marriage were to break up.
As to wholeness, everyone’s journey is unique. I do think, however, that the hill or mountain ought to end about 40, such that subsequently advancement is tantamount to climbing plateaus as opposed to holding on for dear life on jagged edges of mountains.