While the truth of it seemingly has been lost to Christians, both The Father of Jesus Christ, and Jesus declare, in Christian Scriptures that the only way to demonstrate respect for their existence is to love others, is to regard each and every person equal in intrinsic worth.
When a person honors God in this manner, Jesus declares that such a person qualifies for a revelation of God that brings along with it inner peace and joy (John 13:34–35; 14:21).
You see then that what you are experiencing is consistent with teachings of Jesus Christ.
I encourage you not to base your views of Christian teachings on behaviors of most Christians, or mischaracterizations of Christian principles and beliefs by those who seek to teach, but who themselves have yet to arrive at a robust understanding of Christian teachings, or person of Jesus Christ.
My book titled, ‘A Spiritual Exposition of Revelations of Jesus Christ' (ASERJC) discusses, in Chapter 12 how people can, without praying in the name of Jesus Christ, get saved by Jesus Himself. The entire chapter is dedicated to this discussion. Chapter 8 of ASERJC provides some preliminary development of the truth that it is possible for a person who does not pray to Jesus Christ to be saved by Jesus Christ.
It may sound outlandish, but all of the support for the truth to which I allude comes directly from Christian Scriptures, not from any philosophical imposition of my mind on what I think Jesus or His Father ought to have said. The relevant Scriptures are, of course, provided in body of the book, and can be cross-referenced with Christian Scriptures for verification of authenticity of rendition.
I believe ASERJC will be helpful to you as you navigate your agnosticism, that is, your quest for informed knowledge about person, character, and essence of the True God.