The construction of English in this post actually is quite good enough. If you had not mentioned you still are learning the language, honestly would not have picked up your disclosure from a reading of this post.
I add the following thoughts
The best way to live life is to be discontentedly content. We have to be content with our current states in the sense of making the most of it. Simultaneously, we have to be discontented in the sense putting in whatever effort is necessary for achievement of goals, aspirations, or objectives.
In so far as goals or aspirations are concerned, Discontented Contentment always asks
“What have I as yet not done that can enable achievement of my goals and aspirations?”
Discontented Contentment attempts to find a balance between what is necessary for enjoyment of the current state and what is necessary for achievement of goals and objectives.
Discontented Contentment simultaneously lives in the present and the future. If we do not by our actions today invest in the future, the future likely will have nothing which belongs to us on offer.
Discontented Contentment is one of the most important components of a fulfilled life filled with mastery of things dear to the heart.
I wish you all of the best as you pursue your dreams. Congratulations on escape from a society characterized by broken leadership.