Nice article. Being divorced from my ex wife for the last 5 years after 4 kids and a total of 19 years together, I have had to totally retool myself. I changed my looks and grew a moustache and beard, which I have had to abandon because my latest employer loves clean shaves. Since my divorce (by the way, regardless of whether a divorce is fully worked out or not, only divorced couples can obtain a divorce certificate — one comes before the other).

I would say, however, that love is a choice. Sometimes no matter how much we love someone else, if they never choose to be committed to us, they are unable to love us back. We must be wary of thinking it is our imperfections that lead to a break up.

Sometimes, a relationship breaks up because the other party no longer is willing to make the commitment to make things work. Does this make the other party in a relationship evil? Definitely not. The other party to a relationship is exercising their belief that letting go of the relationship actualizes a better future for them — exactly the point of your article.

Only when people insist on nasty break ups do they begin to cross the line.

Insistence on a nasty break up is evidence a person in a relationship does not really believe they are better off outside of it. If they truly believed they were better off outside of it, they would devote their time to building up themselves and enjoying whoever new steps into their life — again the premise of your article.

So then, why do such people insist on a break up?

I do not have a definite answer to this, as potential answers can be as many as number of distinct nasty break ups.

The world is a complex place and people can be complex. Insistence on a nasty break up, however, is evidence the break up has nothing to do with imperfections of the significant other in a relationship.

Written by

Educator and Researcher, Believer in Spirituality, Life is serious business, but we all are pilgrims so I write about important stuff with empathy and ethos

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store