Let us assume for the moment that a married couple love each other. So they have been together for 10 years, 4 years post wedding. The man has never laid hands on his wife, never even threatened to lay hands on his wife. Out of the 10 years together, 6 years were spent in a developing country within which a man cannot be arrested simply because he hit his wife. No events within context of such a permissive environment.
So then we are at year 9 in the USA, the wife is angry, slaps her husband who restrains her, who does not hit her, who finds a way to cool things off. Husband never again brings up the incident, all was forgiven.
So then now we are at year 10 in the USA, there is an argument, both lose their cool, the man loses his cool, hits his wife.
Do you think criminalization of such a man helps his wife, helps the marriage, is good for society?
The problem with domestic violence in the USA is the state destroying lives of men under guise of protection of women. Powerful white men are criminalizing mistakes of good men to reduce competition for opportunities within society. A woman who allows such men destroy her husband either does not really love her husband, is extremely naive, or is cheating and planning to leave.
Good women drag their husbands to counseling or interventions, or walk away from the marriage, never give up men they love for their lives to be destroyed by the state simply because they made a mistake.
So then a good man has his life criminalized, his opportunities cramped, rage builds up against his ex wife, rage explodes, people die.
What exactly is surprising about such an outcome?
I am not saying I approve, but absent grace of Jesus Christ and resulting capacity for forgiveness or love for those who mistreat, how else do we expect such men to react when they find out their wife of 5, 10, 15 years merely was all the time setting them up?
To all good men out there, remember some women get into marriage for sake of other men whose economic interests they seek to protect. When they are at point of seeking an exit from the marriage — this after cheating throughout the marriage — they begin to look for valid excuses such as “he hit me”. So they press their husbands' buttons until they generate a mistake. By the way, I recently found out a woman can obtain an uncontested divorce from her husband if he spends a protracted amount of time in jail. So double whammy works. Get husband to hit, hope husband goes to jail, get uncontested divorce.
Let all good men be wise. If it feels like she only cares about herself, it might be better to keep on looking.