I agree with the principles you have outlined. Regardless, I believe it is important not to automate these good suggestions in the sense of rolling them into the conversation one after the other. When we do this, we are operating no differently from sticking to our point because progression of the discussion can be totally discordant from statements of the other party. That is, we become guilty of manipulating, as opposed to participating in the discussion.

Every conversation consists not only of the issue under discussion but also the person of the other party to the conversation. I know it may sound old fashioned, but if we cared about the person at the other end of the conversation, there would be much less stalemate in society politically, socially, and economically.

When we allow a discussion or debate devolve into argument, it is because we insist on winning right there, right then. Sometimes this is impossible, hence as you suggest, it is important to walk away when debate or discussion is insufficient for arrival at some resolution of an issue.

It is obsession with winning right now in a discussion within which a person really is the party with the right responses that leads to winning being accompanied by losing. When people desert a person who wins because he is proved right, however, as opposed to having insisted on winning immediately, there is persecution targeted at that person from which others seek to protect or distance themselves.

Obsession with winning right now destroys lives of the obsessed even when they win right now, or when they are proved to be right much later.

A good movie for this is the movie — Kill the Messenger — in which a reporter attempts to prove the CIA were funding Colombians to bring drugs to the United States. The reporter would not let things go in the present, resulting in concerted efforts by government agencies to discredit him, efforts that succeeded. He eventually was proven to be right, but his life had devolved entirely into chaos, loss of marriage and career inclusive. Actions taken by government agencies obviously were wrong and should not be overlooked. It remains our responsibility, however, to not insist on winning right now whenever winning right now requires we throw our lives totally out of balance.

Obsession is wrong because it is evidence of a life out of control. Evidence we are engaged in too much of a good thing. Even in pursuit of noble objectives, it is important we seek balance in life.

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Educator and Researcher, Believer in Spirituality, Life is serious business, but we all are pilgrims so I write about important stuff with empathy and ethos

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