Can’t say I agree with everything, but some good thoughts here, particularly how we need to be whole before seeking marriage. But how many people truly become whole before they turn 40?

Pragmatism I think lies in recognizing how whole we are, how whole the other is, and attempting to ensure the two imperfect wholes have possibility of meshing and growing together.

With respect to change, if we will commit to not allowing our change hurt our significant others, if we will negotiate effects of changes — effects of a new child, a new job, a new promotion, menopause, mid-life crisis etc. — forever marriage is possible.